allysonc

hmm

2006-01-07T03:27:18Z

So yeah I never write in here anymore. Guess i'm just on myspace more now. So a review over this pastyear. lol. It's been hard/good at the same time.. I'm more comfortable around guys now cause I dated alot over the summer. Pretty much to find out guys my age are dickheads/losers. Not all of them. Just the one's i've come across. But good thing is I know what i'm looking for and am ok with just being myself/don't need a guy to be happy. Dealing with death.It's rare for someone to move in with their grandparents/take care of them. But I feel like it has been the right thing to do. It may delay me more with getting highschool/college done. But if it was me.. how would I have wanted to be treated. After the experience with the nursing home. That place is hell. You should never put people in them less it's absolutely necessary.. But the good things are I know for sure/always have know I will go to Heaven. I will be with family/friends and God. I believe that. Though my faith is strong.. just how my grandmom had these dreams/things that happened before her death. Makes me realize even more God's plan for everyone. I love her/miss her. I know she's here watching us. I learned alot/have had to grow up in alot of different ways then most of my peers. It's worth it to of had this time with them. My Grandparents/Mom are the most important to me *course my sister/dad too* But those three people in my life have been my support and have never given up on me. I'm so blessed to of had them this long. My mom is my best friend. Most people let me down but she never has. :) I've also learned/still really learning this. That just being chilled/not worrying and just not always feeling like I have to talk.. Really makes me see things life/differently. For awhile I felt I had to talk/be really outgoing.. I am that but i'm also a person who stands in the background/can really listen.. I had stop doing that.. We all need listeners and i'm good at that. You don't always have to talk/be involved all the time. I miss theatre and everything. But I don't miss alot of the unecessary drama/stress that comes with it sometimes. I feel ok with being alone. I'm learning that i'm alright and that's a wonderful feeling. I love life/people. I love my family. Things are great and are going to get better. HERE I COME 2006 lol :) Happy New year to everyone. <3 -Ally

allysonc @ 2005-08-03T22:07:00

2005-08-04T03:08:27Z

Ugh so much is going on.. My grandmom has been in the hospital since last friday.. She had some bacterial infection.. I found out she's in the last stages of the type of alzheimers she has.. Basically she is dying.. She really hasn't been here.. for along time.. just she's still breathing and everything but yeah.. We're getting hospice *however you spell it* to come in.. They are basically going to make her comfortable but..when she gets sick again.. we won't be taking her to the hospital.. I mean we have done everything for her that we can.. My granddad is getting worse mentally but better physically and stuff.. I hope we can take to a seinor day care and stuff so my mom and I can have some time off during the day.. I hopefully will get my life back together soon.. At least start working on it. I saw Roxy in West Side Story Sunday afternoon. She kicked major ass. The show was really good.. I went with Josh :) We sat with her bf sam and her mom. I got her some really pretty purple flowers too.. :) I saw Must Love Dogs with James the other day.. That movie was really funny and cute! Then I met this guy i've been talking to for awhile.. Jeff. He's a really nice guy and easy to talk to. I had fun meeting him. All in all..things are going ok.. there's shit going on with my sister/my dad.. which sucks.. I don't really know what to do about my family anymore.. just frustrated.. i'll write more later. -Ally

weekend

2005-07-18T02:04:21Z

Friday was actually really fun. I didn't go wait in line all night like I thought I would. I went to Swensen's with Josh instead. :) I love that place. We split a mint sundae.. good stuff. I spent some time with Roxy later that night as well. We hung out at sweet eugene's and then drove around. I haven't really seen her in like two months or something. Crazy stuff. Was so good to get to spend time with her. I got the book yesterday afternoon.Oh yeah and they had plenty of books as well lol. So like I looked around and there are two other books that have come out as well that I want.. One by Lisa Scottoline and another by Kate White. Both mystery/fiction books. I love there books. :) Guess i'll just wait to get those at the library. My sister and I then went to the China King Buffet and had some grub.. So yeah just been chilling and reading the new book! ahh. i'll write more later -ally

updaterz

2005-07-15T17:27:54Z

hmm..I have been spending some time with some new friends lately. Mainly Josh/James. Josh and I hung out and saw Dark Water last weekend. It was HORRIBLE. It wasn't even scary or anything. So blah.. Then Josh and I watched the aviator at his casa on Tuesday. He has a really nice house.. It's like in the neighborhood next to emerald forest. so. that's pretty cool :) He has a nice house. I also met this guy kevin and we hung out at hastings. he turned out to be a complete moron though.. *as most guys are* lol nah.. jut kidding :P Was kind of disappointed by that. Anyhoo.. It's great making some new friends this summer.. :P Specially guy friends yay. hehe. I am so excited though. THE 6TH HARRY POTTER BOOK IS COMING OUT TODAY!! WAHOO. I am so getting it tonight. I might be meeting Reece there as well.. and Josh is going to wait with me in line so. :) yeah. i'm gonna reread some in the 5th book now. I will write more later -ally

ahhh

2005-07-04T00:08:56Z

so let's see.. James came over Friday to hang out and check his email. ugh i'm so crazy about that boy. We cuddled and stuff ;) He had an interview at Hollister later that day. I think the interview went well. I hope he gets the job! My Uncle Dan came later that night. He lives in Wisconsin Rapids :) He is also a OB/GYN. It's so wonderful when he comes to visit. though I had to move out my room here at my grandparents house. lol. It's been good having him here to see what My mom, aunt, sister, and I have been dealing with for months now. He has been helpful somewhat. It's been so nice to have a break this weekend and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. I had a lil drama yesterday.. I called James and was just like what's up and was telling him I was going to see War of the Worlds with my friend Josh. He was like.. so it's a date right.. and I was like no no no. He was like ok whatever. but I could tell he was jealous. I was like what the heck.. it's just a friend thing ya know.. Then he acted like he didn't care. Anyhow I went and saw the movie.. I talked to Josh about it and he was like oh no it's a friend thing.. then he pays for my ticket.. and i'm like that's really sweet and everything.. So was like ok that's cool. We sort of cuddled during the movie cause I got scared..eh yeah.. I felt sort of guilty.. cause i'm not into him like that.. but that's all that happened..I talked to James again last night and he was like oh how was your date and on and on and it wasn't.. I talked to James alot today too and we hung out at the playground and I asked if he was jealous and he said yes.. I was just like aww.. he is jealous.. like this never happened before.. :) it's hard to get through and see how/what James is feeling.. GRR GUYS. but I just know he cares about me and wants to be with me. It's just gonna take some time.. :) but yeah..then the sweetest thing happened.. my flip flop broke and I had to walk back to my grandparents house.. well he let me wear one of his flip flops and walked with one foot on the hot pavement..walked me back to my grandparents house.. I jsut thought that was the sweetest thing ever. :) yeah i'm all smiles.. when i'm around him/after I see him.. not gonna let him go yet. :) i'll write more later. -ally

single

2005-06-30T17:14:53Z

ok so things with James didn't work out like I thought it would. but ya know what. I'm really ok with that. James and I are both in a point in our lives where a relationship isn't really the best thing right now. I think he's a really cool guy though and has sexy eyes lol :) But yeah i'm still looking for my man out there. I'm gonna make a kick ass gf someday :) Anyhoo.. things with my grandparents are just crazy as usual. I'm here 24/7 so ahh. But we're getting through it somehow.. beats me how.. lol. I'm working out some everyday too so yeah :) I started reading The Purpose Driven Life too. It talks about God's plan and purpose in our lives.. It's really helping me through the tough times. I am starting to figure out my purpose through God :) anyway, i'm about to have lunch! i'll write more later -ally

hehe evil laugh

2005-06-24T02:51:11Z

yeah.. the other night.. I kind of let James come over and we spent "time" together.. lol :) I snuck him into my room at my grandparents house. I don't know.. just lately I wanna do bad things. I'm 18 now and feel like I should be out of the phaze.. but I realize that I never really done all the teenager stuff and maybe it's catching up with me now. Cause I wanna do bad stuff. Not really bad stuff.. but yeah.. I dunno where my morals/goody-goodness has gone lol. James is so cute. :) hehe he does the face from that zoolander movie it's so hiliarious :) I love having a bf now. I hope I get to go see Bewitched with him tomorrow or this weekend. We shall see! All is going pretty well for the most part right now. i'll write more later -ally

:)

2005-06-22T16:57:35Z

:)

I'm all smiles lately! It's wonderful :) My granddad walked farther yesterday then the day before.. I can't believe he's walking now. He started on Monday. He walked 10 ft and 10 ft back and i'm just like wow.. A few monts back I didn't think it'd be possible and now it's here.. just wow. It'll take some time.. but so so proud of him. I have the best Granddad in the whole wide world! :) James came over here and I showed him my Grandparents house and we spent time in the room i'm staying in.. yeah it was awesome seeing him/spending time with him :) I started LA Weightloss yesterday. I am doing a two day express thing. I eat unlimited veggies/protein and have to eat three medium oranges and water to flush out all the salt and stuff that's in my system. I will hopefully lose a few pounds. I had stopped doing it for awhile cause of what happened with my grandparents. I went back Monday and weighed in and I had gained alot, but the weird thing is is that i've lost 4 and half inches in my waist! I mean what the heck. i've been eating terribly I lost 6 and half inches total.. just don't get it. but hey i'll go with that lol :) I guess the working out off and on for weeks has made the difference hehe. but yeah this plan is good and it works quick, but it also is a good plan you still eat from all the food groups. You just limit your salt intake and don't eat obviously bad food. I lost like 5 pounds in a week or so. You eat like every three hours too so it's good for you. I'm just really happy right now and don't even feel like eating! How awesome is that? :) Well i'm going to go weigh in later today and hopefully James can come over again. I'll write more later. -ally

allysonc @ 2005-06-20T00:36:00

2005-06-20T05:40:27Z

ahh

ok James and are just gonna hang out/date. Not technically bf and gf right now. I think it's for the best. He doesn't want to hurt me and we don't wanna screw things up. I need to get my shiznit together right now. I am changing as we speak and i'm love love love love love loving it. I'm so happy to have James in my life. I love God. I love the new changes i'm going to make with Him and myself. i'll write more later. -ally

soo happy :)

2005-06-19T03:59:48Z

yes :) I have a bf now! His name is James :) We've been talking for weeks now and we had our first offical date today :) It rocked :) We went and saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith and went to the Mall. I got some So Sexy Shampoo/Conditioner. Then we ate at Casa Ole :) Yeah but. ahh i'm so happy :) I didn't know I could be this happy really. :) I'll write more later! -ally

allysonc @ 2005-06-03T18:51:00

2005-06-03T23:53:29Z

*sigh* I don't know much longer I can deal with this.. my grandmom just terrible. she won't stop complaining for two secs the whole entire day or sleep. There just isn't any peace anywhere anymore in my life or my mom's or sister's. I just want to get out of the house so badly right now. I don't care if it's just to run an errand or whatever.. just need to get out. *sighs* just been so depressed since last night. and especially today.. I just don't know what to do anymore or how to do anything. just need to go do something/be somewhere else.

Thrusday

2005-06-02T18:49:35Z

Well my Grandmom came home just a little while ago. I had to wait like 4 hours before she was discharged. I got to ride home with her in the car that brought her home in a wheel chair. That was interesting.. She is so much better. Like her disposition is totally different. She's more positive and so sweet. She's the grandmom I remember. It's nice to have everyone here now. We organized there closets yesterday. I found a box of all these classic books moby dick and other ones. I hope I can have those someday. I need to read all the classics. :) I'm also organizing this collection of quarters they kept for each grandkid. We get quarters from the year we were born. It's taking along time to assort it all but it'll get done.. I am seeing music man tonight with roxy so yay! i'll write more later.

allysonc @ 2005-05-28T18:11:00

2005-05-29T00:15:36Z

yeah the last show of the season. had to bail out on auditioning for everyone. no more hoping to audition. cause it's bad luck to hope man lol. my grandmom is coming back home tuesday.. just can't afford not to be here.. and I wanna be to fully commit if I do a show and what not.. I gotta do sets/be part of it as much as possible though. I just love the music and so excited to see what people are gonna audition with and who auditions.. to cast this will be really interesting. lol :) my granddad is just getting sharper and sharper everyday. he's like eating alot now. which is good cause he's skin and bones. But yeah man he's doing awesome.. really mentally alert and all.. and my grandmom is on this other drug now and I think her paranoia is going away.. ahh. Dr. Macklehaney just rocks.. he knows the best people to help in all situations.. just amazing.. yeah alot of exciting stuff happening right now. :) ahh I wanna help with west side story damnit. I always do a show every summer. been always doing theatre stuff every summer for sure since I was 13. so I have to this summer no matter what it is.. :P yeah.. life is good. I'm gonna see roxy's recital tomorrow afternoon. I'm going by myself though wahh. :( everyone I know is busy already and my mom can't come or my sister stay either so blah.. ;P but I can't wait to see her kicking booty and dancing! :) ok. write more later

auditioning ahh.

2005-05-27T00:28:22Z

mariaaaaaa mariaaa I just met a girl named maria *sings* ok so maybe I will maybe I won't. I really am hoping.. basically I can at the moment.. I just had a voice lesson with emily few hours ago. .she's even offering me rides for West Side Story rehearsals if I do get in that is. I'm going to have to talk to randy about what's up and that I want to be involved with this production as much as possible on stage or not.. more so on stage.. but we'll see. I'm not a dancer like my bud rox and people.. tons of teens/people are going to audition with dance experience.. my voice is good though so hopefully that'll help some. everything is up in the air. going to have to tell them that.. I hope to go to my Roxy's dance recital! yay. :) my voice lesson went well. I love emily she's great. if I do audition at all.. i'm looking at jazz songs and what not.. found several.. we'll see how that goes. gotta eat well/get fit this summer seriously.. ugh.. so much to do.. my granddad is doing the best he has ever done the past few days.. it's amazing.. what he remembers.. he can kind of hear me across the room.. he is standing up and shiznit.. almost by himself.. he's getting there.. I have loads more to write.. but it'll have to be later. gonna watch WSS. haven't in along time so yay :)

sigh

2005-05-21T19:05:27Z

this week has been the hardest for me.. The physical therapist didn't come till later in the week and it felt like we went back to square one with helping my granddad walk and what not.. His mind got really bad and he started getting angry and stuff.. Just adgitated. I dunno a substitute therapist came to work with him somemore later this week.. Ugh she is so arrogant and crap.. I hope Sue Hill comes back this week to help granddad. I dunno just been the hardest week..My granddad looked like he was having seizures or something.. the doctor said it was low blood pressure.. but he just started shaking and his eyes were all glazed over and it was really scary. I got to see roxy though and everything.. I got a little drunk thrusday night.. We went to one her bf's friend's apartments and drank/hot tub-etc.. hehe. this chick peed on the couch.. she was really drunk.. I kind of felt bad for her but we kinda joked about it all night.. Other stuff happened.. I met some really nice people though so it wasn't all bad.. I got to see Roxy's apartment and it's really cute. I spent the night there.It was nice to get out of the house.. I've missed hanging out with roxy.. been a month and a half since i've truely went out and done anything like that.. heh. I dunno getting harder and harder to take care of my grandparents.. My granddad just hit me on the chin a few mins ago.. cause he's agitated.. I know that in my mind.. but I just started crying and went in the other room.. just really hard right now.. I have no where to go really. but I love them and want to care of them.. hopefully it'll be better this week.. i'll write more later

Mother's Day

2005-05-08T23:49:57Z

Mother's Day Weekend has been wonderful. My Aunt came in yesterday morning. I had a lesson with Emily for the first time in awhile. It was an awesome lesson. I am getting new Rep. She wants me to look for stuff for West Side Story.. She said like jazz stuff..cole parter/leonard bernstein.. I'll see what I can find.. She has better access to all that stuff. After that I went to Hastings and rented Closer and Alfie. Closer was really good.. <3 Natalie Portman. She went to stagedoor manor and is an amazing talent. She rocks. hehe. I couldn't get into Alfie.. I think it was cause of mother day stuff so I decided not to watch the rest of it. oh well.. Jude Law is freakin hot though. UNF. :P He's actually not gay too.. which is cool. :P lol I think he's married anyway. anyhoo.. after that we went shopping for my grandmom and got her two nightgowns and a robe thing to go over it. They're really nice. :P anyhoo.. yeah watched the movie/stuff last night.. This Morning Lesley and her husband Jeremy came to help us all today with things. Like we totally cleaned out the family room and made room for this treadmill my mom and I bought. I can't use it yet though :( Something with the wiring of this house and shiznit so that sucks. But i'm happy it's put together and will be ready to use soon I hope. He did alot of projects.. We told Lesley that she found a lester.. *lester is my granddad* my granddad was the handyman in our family.. wish he could still do that stuff.. but yeah Jeremy can do anything.. he's like an electrician at the hospital my cousin lesley works at so.. He's really nice too. :) So she found her Lester lol. :) We had a nice lunch brought here to my grandparents house and ate and we did cake/ice cream and gave grandmom her gifts. Been a really nice weekend.. So nice to go out and do things again.. i've felt like a hermit for over a month now. Just never going out/doing anything. ugh.. I want my Lester now damnit.. Want someone wonderful/kind like my Granddad.. and he can fix stuff.. hey I wouldn't complain ;) Nifty to have a dude who can do that. lol. Things are going great right now. I'm so happy. i'll write more later.

allysonc @ 2005-05-04T00:16:00

2005-05-04T05:17:02Z

You Are a Golden Retriever Puppy

Tolerant, fun-loving, and patient.
You are eager to please - and attached to your frisbee.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

allysonc @ 2005-05-04T00:00:00

2005-05-04T05:04:18Z

American Cities That Best Fit You:

65% Chicago

60% New York City

60% Philadelphia

60% Washington, DC

55% Boston

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

allysonc @ 2005-05-03T23:58:00

2005-05-04T05:00:32Z

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated.

You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.

Who's Your Inner European?

allysonc @ 2005-05-03T23:54:00

2005-05-04T04:58:41Z

Your Birthdate: January 30

Your birthday on the 30th day of the month shows individual self-expression is necessary for your happiness.

You tend to have a good way of expressing yourself with words, certainly in a manner that is clear and understandable.

You have a good chance of success in fields requiring skill with words.

You can be very dramatic in your presentation and you may be a good actor or a natural mimic.

You have a vivid imagination that can assist you in becoming a good writer or story-teller.

Strong in your opinions, you always tend to think you are on the right side of an issue.

There may be a tendency to scatter your energies and have a lot of loose ends in your work.

You may have significant artistic talent and be very creative.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

allysonc @ 2005-05-03T23:52:00

2005-05-04T04:52:29Z

You Are A Cypress Tree

You are strong, adaptable, and striving to be content.

You're good at taking what life has to give - even if you don't like it.

A passionate lover who can't be satisfied, you are quick tempered at times.

You hate loneliness, want love and affection, and need to be needed.

A bit of a live wire, you love to gain knowledge any cost... and you can be careless at times.

What is Your Celtic Horoscope?

allysonc @ 2005-05-03T23:25:00

2005-05-04T04:27:35Z

blah.. just feel so depressed.. just wanting my granddad to get better.. and not be down on himself anymore about not being about to do things and what not. just feel so discouraged on even trying to help him do anything.. he's such a wonderful person/husband/grandfather.. just don't want him to give up.. I feel the need to cry.. but just haven't been able to..

specialness

2005-05-04T01:05:41Z

So things are going groovy over here for the most part. I am getting over this bronchitis.. the cough is still here though :( my poor family is all sick with this and I think we got my granddad's physical therapist sue sick too which stinks. My granddad is sort of getting beter. He had fevers this past weekend and what not.. His legs seem to not be as strong as they were last week.. I think he just wants to give up.. He's so frustrated/upset with himself for not being able to do things anymore.. :( just breaks my heart to see him hurting.. or crying at all.. he cried like three times today.. I've started helping him do some arms/leg exercises today.. He was doing pretty good with that.. He gets tuckered out easily though.. He is almost standing... Just gonna take awhile longer I suppose. My grandmom has been acting a little better the past couple days which is good.. But she started being annoying a lil while ago back up to her own tricks.. But when my mom explained what was what.. she started being nice again.. We started giving her xanex.. she thinks it's aspirin.. but no. *giggle* The doc perscribe it though. It helps make her calm and her dementia.. It makes a difference.. just wish she could take it everyday.. but she has been almost.. I just want my granddad to be able to use the wheelchair more and stuff.. I really think he is giving up..We're all trying to encourage him all the time though. I hope he can stand soon.. I love them both so much. ugh. i've gained more weight recently.. I think it's because of stress and everything.. I started working out again today.. and I always notice after awhile before I eat another meal.. I always eat less.. working out makes a difference.. just makes me want to eat loss alot of the time. just being around my grandparents though makes me wanna work out/do stuff all the time.. I want to be in better health/state of mind when I get older. So yeah.. my life is just going at the moment. I hope to hang out with some friends again soon and get my hair cut and all this shiznit that's been being neglected. i'll write more later.

updaterz

2005-04-27T16:27:03Z

wanna be the cause of a fight wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt with a stranger *sings* ahh I love rent. :) LET'S GO OUTTTTTT TONIGHT.. :) <3 So things are wonderful lately.. just in the short amount of time my granddad hs been home.. He remembers things better, hes more alert, he's not sad or depressed anymore.. He has bronchitis right now but we got some meds to help with that. He has been up/awake for 8 hours today! He wasn't even up that long even before all this stuff happened in the past month or so.. so yeah :) He's eating alot too. He's just skin and bones right now so it's good he's eating again.. To see him getting better makes doing all this stuff 24/7 and staying at their home all worth it.. It really makes me want to become a nurse or physical therapist or something to help others.. Especially older people. :) So things are going well.. trying to get over a cold at the moment. I have my laptop back to!! so yay.. :) Just doing alot of stuff right now. it's crazy/wonderful :) i'll write more later.

so happy :)

2005-04-19T18:52:12Z

yay. my granddad is being released from st. joseph's in a half hour! He's coming home!! My aunt mary is here and the bed was just delivered so yay. Things are looking up now. They are going to give him this bio identical pill to take and it can help produce new red blood cells. Science/Medicine is so amazing these days.. He's been having so many tests where they can put lil tiny cameras in his body and take pics of his intestines and body. It's amazing. He swallowed a pill for a test that a camera in it and they put this computer thing on his stomach so they can see inside his body. Sometimes I kind of want to go into the medical field. Just fascinating.. but yeah he can take the pills now and they started back on phyiscal theraphy agian. He sat in his chair for over an hour today and was moving his legs :) I love him so much.. My sister is going to pick me up in a bit! i'm soo happy though.. My granddad is the best guy in the whole world. I have alot more to write about but gonna wait awhile till I know for sure of good news!

allysonc

hmm

allysonc @ 2005-08-03T22:07:00

weekend

updaterz

ahhh

single

hehe *evil laugh*

:)

allysonc @ 2005-06-20T00:36:00

soo happy :)

allysonc @ 2005-06-03T18:51:00

Thrusday

allysonc @ 2005-05-28T18:11:00

auditioning ahh.

*sigh*

Mother's Day

allysonc @ 2005-05-04T00:16:00

allysonc @ 2005-05-04T00:00:00

American Cities That Best Fit You:

allysonc @ 2005-05-03T23:58:00

allysonc @ 2005-05-03T23:54:00

allysonc @ 2005-05-03T23:52:00

allysonc @ 2005-05-03T23:25:00

specialness

updaterz

so happy :)

hehe evil laugh

sigh